After a sad few days – we had a memorial service for Mum on Tuesday afternoon. We were delighted to see many family and friends there. As usual it is a time for us to get together. Some times it appears you only get together at weddings and funerals. Mum would have appreciated the chance to talk to relatives and friends. Pat gave the eulogy and she did a fantastic job. I stood beside her but had trouble holding the tears at bay. Michael was to do a religious reading but decided he would like to remember Grandma his way with an item he remembered about holidaying with her at Hervey Bay. Following the eulogy we had a video of mum’s life (Chris had put it together) and it also produced tears. After the service we had a chance to talk and remember more things about mum’s life with her friends and relatives.
The family came home and finally headed off late in the afternoon. I have found it difficult not to get in the car and head up to St Cath’s each day but will guess the urge will disappear. The cards , emails , facebook and skype have continued throughout the week and a surprise one from across the other side of the world. Thanks – Joyce (San Diego) who left a comment on this site.
Mum’s presence must linger on – We collected some of mum’s things from St Cath’s and I put her recliner in our bedroom and find that Jessie has taken possesion of it.
We have been trying to get back into some normality – getting Jill back into the gym and I have a pool covered from the red dust which swept in from the centre. I also have a lawn that needs mowing so we will have to make an effort this week. I hope that we can get away for a break and I can give Jill a bit more attention. I will need to restock the caravan as Jill says every time I find something missing from the pantry I head out to the van. I suppose she is right.
I have decided to include a couple of things from Mum’s service
1) Pat’s Eulogy.( A fantastic effort)
I have a brief to make this short but 95 years is a long time so I will do the best I can.! She was a legend and the last surviving member of her generation. Most of the next generations are here today celebrating her life.As the first born, I saw Mum & dad through many ups and downs. Mum was the younger child of Grandpa &Grandma McDonnell and with her older sister Mabel lived in Bealiba, near Maryborough Vic. Grandpa was the local baker, taxi delivery man and Grandma was the midwife. Mum and Aunty Mabel went to Bealiba State School until their merit certificate [8 th grade]. They left school to work in Grandpa’s business. When Mum was 14 they moved to Maryborough and built a new two storey house with the residence upstairs and a cafe and bakery down stairs. Working along side their parents, mum looked after the cafe and Aunty Mabel baked the sponges and cakes to cater for weddings parties and cafe life. Mum and her sister were champion tennis players and her wedding to Dad had to be scheduled for the end of January, so it didn’t clash with the local championships her love of sport continued being an avid fan of cricket, football and of course tennis. She was a social butterfly in her day and used to tell us of traveling to balls dancing the night away. They would travel in horse and gig around the district. From Townie to Farmers wife, at Majorca, was culture shock but she supported dad in every way. She milked cows by hand, tried to match Aunty Mabel’s sponges [buried most of them down the creek] and raising baby animals proving she could be a good farmer’s wife. She had quite a sense of humour. She disliked the farm hand dad had employed and she would turn off the electric fence at the house and when he went to check why it wasn’t working she would turn it on again.
I was born 1 year nine months after they were married [an anniversary present I always said]. I was a difficult child who wouldn’t feed and many times she would take me to the dairy and squirt the warm milk straight from the cow into my mouth as I would drink that. She raised baby piglets from their stud as the sows couldn’t manage their large litters. They became so dependant on her she couldn’t go outside as they would watch for her and come running. If visitors came she would have to usher them in whispering and hoping the pigs did not hear her.
During this time drought set in equally as bad as it has been here, Grandpa lent them money to dig bores but eventually they had to leave the farm in 1940. They bought the general Store in Carisbrook.
Mac was born 2 years later and Mum was very ill with blood poisoning following a caesarean birth, the surgeon had traveled from Melbourne, it was one of the first such births in Maryborough. She went to stay with Grandma for 6 months and was treated with the wonder drug Sulpharkilimide [antibiotics were nonexistent]. I went to live with Dad’s sister in Majorca, Aunty Kath, until Mum recovered. Dad soldiered on and became very prosperous, he was a workaholic, buying out the opposition and starting another store in Maryborough. It was war time and tobacco, food and clothing rationing ruled their business. I remember mum packing up the tobacco orders for her customers. Mac was very ill when he was two and was rushed to hospital many times with convulsions. It all took its toll and mum suffered a nervous breakdown so they sold the shop, took a holiday to Tasmania before moving to Maryborough.
In Maryborough they bought a large home to renovate but it wasn’t finished when it burnt to the ground. I can remember her crying night after night. Dad’s bachelor uncle lived with us and he sieved the ashes and found her engagement ring. We moved in with Grandma and Dad could not get a job in any field he knew, he sold second hand cars, worked in a tool factory P&N. We bought another home and mum went to work at the Maryborough knitting mill. Dad took to the road selling memberships for the Wheat & Wool Growers Association. He would come home each weekend and mum would pack him up for the next week that was food and clothes as he converted the old car so he could sleep in it and live out of it.
Dad wasn’t happy being away from his family so he acquired a job managing a store in Dunkeld and surprise, surprise along came Keiran [that was a shock as she was told she would never have any more children]. Mum was 6 months pregnant when she found out. “I will never rear him I will be 60 when he is 21″ -maybe that is why she made 95. He kept her young.
After Dunkeld we moved to Wangaratta in 1955 where Dad managed D&W Chandlers and later had the opportunity to buy the business. Mum was again working beside him in her beloved shop. They later bought a caravan and holidayed at Point Lonsdale or nearby each year. I went to teacher’s college in 1956 and Mac followed. Keiran went to Wangaratta Tech to year 12. Mac later left teaching and with Keiran joined the family business.
When dad retired at 60 they bought a new caravan and would travel to Queensland for 3 months each year. As soon as they came home dad would prepare for the next trip. It was a family affair, dad’s sister and her husband would travel with them. The men did the fishing and the women learnt crafts like bark painting.
Dad died in 1998. He was preparing his magnificent garden for Kym’s wedding but never made it as he suffered a stroke in July and died but Mum looked after the garden so it was just right for the wedding in October.
She was very lonely when dad had gone and just hated the nights but she loved her cat, Jessie and her magpies and that is the reason she stayed until she was 92, looking after herself. Each Saturday she would come out to our farm “to work.” All her life she has been a carer and a great people person. I can remember her caring for elderly neighbours and friends, buying a weekly roast for a struggling family, making Christmas cakes for all her friends and family. The waft of tomatoes could be smelt out on the street as she made sauce, relish and pickles for all her family.-only this year I made my own for the first time. When she went into St Catherine’s she was in her element looking after those not as able as her and the respite residents. She had always wanted to be a nurse but her dad wouldn’t hear of it. We really appreciated the care the staff at St Cath’s gave her. She loved it and it was home.
She loved her family and took interest in all the journeys of her grandchildren. She took on board all their worries and concerns. The great grand children were the light of her life. She loved the birthdays and the weddings and was there for any celebrations.
She was always particular about her appearance. If I took her up the street we had to buy lipstick and make up. Her hair do’s each fortnight made her feel and look a million dollars, in fact she wanted to be back at St Cath’s after her last trip to hospital so she could have her hair done and that was about three weeks ago. She would always say as I brought her back to Wangaratta after her weekly visit-“Comb your hair, you can’t come looking like that.”
We have lost a treasure, a wonderful caring, loving mother but we have had our tears and now we can celebrate her life and treasure her memories. She lived for her family. A wonderful achievement 95 years!
2) Video of her life. ( Thanks Chris – she would have loved it)
Thanks from all the family for all the support and remembrances of mum.
See you next week on the net.
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